so, i mentioned on facebook that i was going to be teaching some yoga classes in jordan. i was feeling a bit at a loss of what to do here and wanting to go home because of loneliness and boredom. hahahah, now i want to go home because i would like to get started teaching yoga and again being around yoga in california. hahahahah, one thing that i'm trying to learn and really take to heart is patience. maybe it's just me; but i feel like i live about 90% of my time either in the future or in the past. what a joke. the present is the only thing we can control and the only time where we can be truly happy, so why not embrace it... i guess what i'm trying to say is that this trip is really teaching me about that.
i've now taught two classes in about 12 hours. how exciting! it's strange, most of these people that i'm teaching to, don't know any thing about yoga, most are heavy weight lifters, and have the flexibility of richard nixon. pretty much, exactly like i was when i started yoga. i don't bother saying the name of the poses, i quit that instantly. i had to re-vision, think my class and the lesson plan i created about five minutes into the class. i dropped all pretense of trying to give them some spiritual advice during the class and have moved into just trying to give them some deep stretching and relaxation. and i think that they really enjoyed it. i know i did. you can't imagine how excited i am to make creative lesson plans, work with weight lifters, athletes, and office workers. one of the reasons, i was afraid of teaching yoga is that i thought that maybe teaching would take the pleasure out of practicing yoga for me. i realize now that that was a stupid concern, much like my other trepidations about teaching yoga. these students, they call me coach. it's endearing. i want to be a better yoga practitioner for my students. i want to learn all that i can in order to help these people. the manager of the gym pretty much offered me a job, starting yoga in jordan. it's virtually not here. that made me smile on the inside, as well as the outside.
what a great experience. i feel like i've opened up to the world. i've got friends that good things just seemed to happen to, not that they didn't work hard or deserve it; it just seemed like life came easy to them. while i felt like i had to fight and scratch tooth and nail for every little thing i got. this opening up to the world, it's given back to me two fold. i used to not really believe that anything was possible, or that i could do anything i wanted. now, i think i really do/am starting to believe this. a lot of that might be that i'm starting to believe in myself a lot more. for as long as i can remember i've had a bit of a negative self-image and not a lot of confidence. it wouldn't be until someone told me that i couldn't do something that i would really try and do it. but not for me, just to prove to them not to put limitations on me; all the while i have been limiting myself for years. i think i'm starting to break that down. i was talking with someone about my future and how i think i would like to give something my all. for about that last 15 i haven't really tried. i was afraid of failure. fuck, i was afraid of success. i think i'm ready. i want to try my hardest, put forth all my effort, play the best hand i can put together and just let the chips fall where they may. i didn't have an agenda when i started this trip. i mean i knew i would learn things about myself, about the world, about people. but i had no clue the far reaching effects that would be brought about in me. i've got a friend that always asks me these questions, like, what does it feel like; questions that i can't really answer until a day later after i've mulled them over for a while. i told them that travelling is the greatest thing in the world because on the road, you have no past, you have no future; so you are free. free to be the best incarnation of you. there's no one you know, so they haven't boxed you in. you meet people for a day or maybe longer if you would like, so you are free to be who you truly are. and that's the beauty. i feel free. and now that i'm not limiting myself anymore, it's unreal, what i can do.
on a side note, we should be grateful that we are native english speakers. i am unsure if i've mentioned this, but english is spoken everywhere. the language barrier is damn near non-existant for us. i have to say it's kind of nice; but also not that great. i wanted to learn new languages, i mean, i knew i wouldn't learn whole languages but at least i could pick up a few words here and there. i still do try; but it's a lot harder when everyone pretty much speaks english.
i guess that's it for now. i'm excited to see mom. i'm excited to see petra and wadi rum and go where ever else we will be going in jordan.
take care,
nick
i've now taught two classes in about 12 hours. how exciting! it's strange, most of these people that i'm teaching to, don't know any thing about yoga, most are heavy weight lifters, and have the flexibility of richard nixon. pretty much, exactly like i was when i started yoga. i don't bother saying the name of the poses, i quit that instantly. i had to re-vision, think my class and the lesson plan i created about five minutes into the class. i dropped all pretense of trying to give them some spiritual advice during the class and have moved into just trying to give them some deep stretching and relaxation. and i think that they really enjoyed it. i know i did. you can't imagine how excited i am to make creative lesson plans, work with weight lifters, athletes, and office workers. one of the reasons, i was afraid of teaching yoga is that i thought that maybe teaching would take the pleasure out of practicing yoga for me. i realize now that that was a stupid concern, much like my other trepidations about teaching yoga. these students, they call me coach. it's endearing. i want to be a better yoga practitioner for my students. i want to learn all that i can in order to help these people. the manager of the gym pretty much offered me a job, starting yoga in jordan. it's virtually not here. that made me smile on the inside, as well as the outside.
what a great experience. i feel like i've opened up to the world. i've got friends that good things just seemed to happen to, not that they didn't work hard or deserve it; it just seemed like life came easy to them. while i felt like i had to fight and scratch tooth and nail for every little thing i got. this opening up to the world, it's given back to me two fold. i used to not really believe that anything was possible, or that i could do anything i wanted. now, i think i really do/am starting to believe this. a lot of that might be that i'm starting to believe in myself a lot more. for as long as i can remember i've had a bit of a negative self-image and not a lot of confidence. it wouldn't be until someone told me that i couldn't do something that i would really try and do it. but not for me, just to prove to them not to put limitations on me; all the while i have been limiting myself for years. i think i'm starting to break that down. i was talking with someone about my future and how i think i would like to give something my all. for about that last 15 i haven't really tried. i was afraid of failure. fuck, i was afraid of success. i think i'm ready. i want to try my hardest, put forth all my effort, play the best hand i can put together and just let the chips fall where they may. i didn't have an agenda when i started this trip. i mean i knew i would learn things about myself, about the world, about people. but i had no clue the far reaching effects that would be brought about in me. i've got a friend that always asks me these questions, like, what does it feel like; questions that i can't really answer until a day later after i've mulled them over for a while. i told them that travelling is the greatest thing in the world because on the road, you have no past, you have no future; so you are free. free to be the best incarnation of you. there's no one you know, so they haven't boxed you in. you meet people for a day or maybe longer if you would like, so you are free to be who you truly are. and that's the beauty. i feel free. and now that i'm not limiting myself anymore, it's unreal, what i can do.
on a side note, we should be grateful that we are native english speakers. i am unsure if i've mentioned this, but english is spoken everywhere. the language barrier is damn near non-existant for us. i have to say it's kind of nice; but also not that great. i wanted to learn new languages, i mean, i knew i wouldn't learn whole languages but at least i could pick up a few words here and there. i still do try; but it's a lot harder when everyone pretty much speaks english.
i guess that's it for now. i'm excited to see mom. i'm excited to see petra and wadi rum and go where ever else we will be going in jordan.
take care,
nick
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